Loss

Lately, I’ve been crying a lot.

Crying for everything I’ve lost.

My innocence.

My old self.

My father.

My freedom.

My belief system.

Old friends.

Old habits.

Things I used to do and enjoy.

I’m faded.

I miss you.

I hate you.

I once told an old friend.

We’re all sad and lonely.

We sometimes wish for life to end.

Because certain things are too hard to forget.

Because some wounds never heal.

I sometimes wish I could go to his grave and kneel down.

To curse him.

To tell him how much I hated what he did to us.

To tell him how I wish I’d never miss him.

Not even for a minute.

But that’d be a lie.

I still miss him.

People come and go.

Someone new.

Be they’ll never be you.

Never take your place.

So I’m left alone.

Hating him and myself even more.

They’ll never be you.

You’ll never come back.

A part of me is forever lost.